Many parents get into coaching because they have a child in the sport. It can be a fun, rewarding experience for both of you, but as you might have realized, it can also be a challenge. As a parent and a coach, it can be difficult to establish expectations and boundaries that keep everyone happy, including you, your athlete, and the other parents and athletes on the team. Here, several TrueSport experts share their best advice for what to do when coaching your own child.
Find your why
While coaching your child can deepen and enhance your relationship, it can also strain it if you’re not mindful. “A good starting point is to reflect on why you are coaching this team in the first place,” says TrueSport Expert Nadia Kyba, a social worker and expert in conflict resolution. “Is it because volunteerism is one of your core values? Are you hoping to give your child their best shot at an athletic scholarship? Is it to become closer with your child by spending more time together? There are no right or wrong answers, but the key is to be aware of the reasons and to ensure that your actions as a coach are reflecting that purpose.”
Establish clear boundaries
Before the season begins, create a set of rules for yourself that break up your coach role and your parent role—you can even ask your student-athlete for his or her input. “Remember, whether your child performs well or poorly, your relationship with them shouldn’t be impacted,” Kyba says. One way to navigate this is to have set times that you will talk about the sport with your child. Your athlete may also have some rules for you, like not using their nickname in front of the team.